Sunday, April 22, 2012

Too Fond of Backstory

He couldn't remember if he had set his alarm or not. He couldn't remember if he had set the alarm to wake him up in the morning so that he wouldn't be late for work. He wondered what time is it was he groped for his alarm but seemed unable to find it. He reluctantly opened his eyes to a bright world and realized that it was about mid morning. But what he didn't realize was that had forgotten his name!


He also had forgotten where he was or how he had gotten there! Did he have a job? What would it have been? Where would it be? What college did he attend? Did he even go to college? Who was this strange woman lying next to him? Who's apartment was this? Where was it? What was the mortgage? Where there leaks in the bathroom? Was the pool gate closed?

All these questions raced through his mind. He needed to know the answer. He dashed out of the room wearing nothing but a half pulled over Barenaked Ladies Band T and his gym shorts. His gym shorts! Maybe that would hold the clue to his identity! He stopped abruptly in the hall and looked down at his shorts.

"Prop of Lair of the Bear"

Was he a slave? Did he wake up in a world where the bears ran the world and issued out commands for their fortified lairs? How had they won? Was is a spontaneous mass take over or a gradual winning of public favor? Oh God these were dire times!

No. This was foolish. It must be a place, he thought. He dashed around the house, finding answers to questions he didn't know. A television he didn't recognize. An answering machine that he didn't know the password to. Two small sheep gently "baww"ing around his ankels, asking for milk politely.

"Marvin, what are you on about?" The woman spoke! She sleepily walked out of the room he came out, which he then surmised was the master bedroom.

"Who are you?"

"I am you!" and then he pulled off his mask he was darth vader all along.

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